Friday, May 17, 2013

Cupcake Love

Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, I do hereby announce my candidacy for DAD OF THE EVER!

Dad. Of. The. Eh.Ver.

As in, I did this because I'm... well... awesome. If I had to choose a word it would have to be "awesome".

"Why?" you ask. Because this, right here.

Awesome doesn't quite capture it.
 I had, over the day, developed the best headache ever. As It was a perfectly nice day, of which I am extremely allergic to, I, of course, collapsed into a gel of goo.

I do so love my goo. Eww.

Zoey, my ever so loving and nap interrupting 9-year old, decided that in an effort to cheer me up and make me feel better she'd make me a cupcake with her Girl Gourmet cake thing-a-ma-jig (TM).

The Red Velvet expired in March. 2011. While it was cooking our house smelled like decade old Wheat Thins found in the back of the back of the warehouse where old army surplus clothing was stored until "New Management" took over.



*Shudder*

*DUBBLE SHUDDER*

But it was totally the thought that counts. [1] I had to try it. I mean, it was made with love!

A lot of love. She came into my room and announced every single move she made while assembling this cupcake. Not that there was a chance of ever actually falling asleep, my brain was throbbing, I remained stoic.

Headaches happen. Mutant cupcakes are more rare. This one was rare indeed.

Oh. My. Great. Scott. Googly. Moogly. Captain. Fish. Uncle. Tap Dancing JESUS.

No. Just... no.
It was like eating sin. It was at that moment I knew I couldn't actually follow through. Thank my good sense for waiting until after the girls went to bed.

It was so bad. Totally not her fault! It was just the old mix... why we had it, I don't know. I didn't even know we had it. I was dieing in the other room! You cannot... no, will not, blame me! Screw. You.

I. ATE. The. Cupcake. Of. Love. [2]

What have you done lately?

Liar.

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