Wednesday, May 15, 2013


I started writing a part two to my Zombie Turducken story the other night. Today I was going to work on it some more and instead thought to actually Google zombie turduckens. I found my old post, plenty of turducken pictures and this![1]

When I seeTurducken Slammer, I
think Turducken Correctional Facility.
 I so want credit for this. There's this show that comes on CW called Supernatural. Apparently it's pretty popular. It's been on for eight seasons now!

This episode originally aired a whole month after I wrote my story. So they can't claim it was me copying them! Granted, their story has more to do with zombies and turducken sandwiches than zombie turduckens. In either case, I'm going to just assume my story gave the seed kernel and they ran with it.

Dear CW,

You're welcome.



I got on Netflix and watched this episode. Here's a recap with pictures!

This guy is not happy with his job. But free TDK Sliders!
Our heroes, for one reason or another, end up in New Jersey chasing a story about the Jersey Devil. There's a burrito story in the paper, so they decide to check it out. They interview the local Ranger Rick[2] and he's stoned like a Cheech & Chong during a Grateful Dead revival.[3]

It turns out eating the sandwiches turns you into a cannibalistic zombie!

"This is a good sandwich!"
So our heroes, after interviewing Rick in zombie sandwich headquarters, decide to go ahead and have some lunch. Brandon[4] is apparently suffering from the in between stages of human and zombie. He accuses Dean[5] of being a douchebag.

I don't know about you, but that would totally make me want to stick around and try out the local fare. After all, there's zombie sammiches on the menu!

Spoiler! This zombie is holding Ranger Rick's hand.
It seems Turducken Sliders turn people into zombies. Well, not entirely. They are turned into couch potatoes. There's an ever so tiny little chance you'll turn into a Ranger eater. Or "glamper burrito" eater. You gotta watch the episode to get that. I'm not gonna totally ruin the episode for you.

And for the record, one bullet will only stun it long enough to get it to your cabin. There it will wait just long enough for the dialog to catch up with it and ....

BAM! Not dead!
Our heroes, after making sure our Ranger Rick stuffed stiff was for sure dead, decided to case the sammich shop and see what happens.

They witness a late night meat delivery[6] and follow the truck back to it's point of origin.[7]

 By the way, this zombie actually does not qualify as a "zombie" by my definition. He's sick. He was poisoned by whatever was in the sammich.
That's the stuff. Right there. Secret ingredient.

It's grey.

It's goo.

It's grey goo.

I'll take two please!

People seem to like it.

"If I weren't so chill right now, I'd puke"


So here's where the story starts getting all you-hafta-seen-the-last-35-episodes-to-know-what's-happening-now.

Again, with pictures:

Huh? Turducken?!

Favorite quote: "Well, I'll be a squirrel in a skirt."

*Slow head-shake* 

Dick's a bad guy.

He eats people but isn't a zombie! He hasn't even tried the sandwiches. He made one of his bad guy minions eat himself![8]

I'd go on about the Leviathans and such but pretty much as soon as I realized that the storyline of zombies and turduckens had played out, I lost interest.

One thing's for sure though, CW... YOU OWE ME.

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