Yeah. You heard me. The other day I confessed to my wife that I actually missed having a job.
She said, "You can have mine."
I'm not impressed.
Here's the thing. I've been a stay-at-home-dad (SAHD), homeschooling, child-caring, random-crap-doing, guy for two years now. I've enjoyed damn near most of it. Don't get me wrong, there have been those moments I'd rather someone else had dealt with, but all in all, I wouldn't have gone back to work for anything.
And here I'm missing it. Why?
Is it the manly thing to do? That the man must earn in order to maintain the healthy moral fiber of his family?
Nope. I'm so okay with Stephanie doing that.
Is it that I feel the pressure to earn an income and be a wage earner, bringing home the bacon?
Hell no. Stephanie can do that too.
How about how "un-manly" it must make me feel caring for two little girls, giving them their lessons and hanging out with a bunch of women at our homeschool meet-ups?
I actually look forward to our lessons. I like seeing the girls learn, discover, and create. As for the women... well... they are women. It took a while for them to warm up to me, but once they did! Guys... check it out... it turns out that stay-at-home-moms that homeschool are intelligent and are excellent conversationalists! Some of them are into sports. Some enjoy music and the arts in general. They have opinions and everything!
They are now so used to me they discuss politics and breast feeding openly.
I don't really care for the politics, but when it comes to boobs, I got opinions.
Nevertheless. Today I missed working. I never thought I'd see the day. I thought pretty long and hard about this emotion too.
Why would I miss working? Is it the early mornings and 80 minute drive to work? Or the 80 minute drive home? Is it how my hard work and dedication went unappreciated?
No. Emphatically. I totally don't miss any of that.
But I do. Damn it. How is this possible? I mean there were things... I didn't even know I liked them until today. I guess I'll go over them real quick so that you people don't think I'm entirely insane.
1. Audio books. They used to be called books on tape even after they weren't on tape anymore. I was burning through those like crazy. Even when I was dropping off and picking up the kids from school I'd get a solid hour a day listening to an audio book. Not so much anymore.
2. An entire group of grown-ups relying on me to get shit done for an entire organization. Not that I'm dissing getting shit done for my home and family, but there's a pride to be had when there's a room full of peers knowing it was me that did it.
3. An hour to myself at lunch time. Man do I miss that.
4. Back to peers. Adult interaction. Peers all working together to get a task done. And by peers I mean a bunch of juvenile, fart joke telling, football watching, ball scratching, dudes. That's right. I miss working with guys. Hey, the ladies are fine and all, but... dude.
Meh. Those aren't very good reasons at all. Maybe it's just a phase. Like people missing high school knowing all well and good there wasn't a day when they were there that they didn't want to escape.