Thursday, January 27, 2011

Tacos and French Fries

As usual, this story begins with me picking the kids up from school. To distract them from the long arduous drive home (and avoid playing Kids Bop) I begin to interview them.

“How was school?” I winced when I said that. I hated being asked that as a kid and I always answered…

“Fine.” Zoey isn’t very fond of it either.

“I don’t know!” Sara didn’t know.

“What do you girls want for dinner?”

“I wanna pick!” Sara obviously had something in mind.

“Ok. What’s for dinner, Sara?”


“I want…” Zoey started.

“NO!!! I GET TO PICK!!!!!” Sara wanted to pick.

“Fine.” Zoey wasn’t impressed, but was amiable enough.

“Ummmmm. French fries.” She seemed pretty pleased with herself.

I said, “Ok. What are we going to have with our french fries?” I know what you are thinking. She’s going to want McDonald’s or some such. Check this out.


So we get home and I start rummaging about trying to figure out what we are actually having for dinner. I go ahead and put some hamburger in the sink to thaw. We were so NOT having tacos and french fries. We had tacos two nights ago.

My phone buzzes. I have a text! From SWMBO. “Whats for dinner?”

I text back. “Tacos and french fries. If you buy taco seasoning.”

“Tacos sound good to me!”

Ten minutes later she’s home with taco seasoning.

So then I make tacos.

“Where are my french fries?” Sara was, and this is the best word to describe it: incredulous.

We have these little boxes of microwavable french fries from Crap-in-a-Box™. 4 minutes. So I made french frries.


We had tacos and french fries for dinner.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Dora The Explorer

It occurs to me as I sit here, watching Nickelodeon with my daugheter that perhaps Dora et al might have it right after all.

Sara has been sick for 5 days straight. So I’m taking a day off work.

Dora carries around this back pack. Backpack.

Backpack, Backpack!
Backpack, Backpack!

Like a woman’s purse, full of useless stuff. I mean chock full of crap that makes men wonder, “Why on Earth do you carry this stuff around?”

Of course the answer is, “I might need it. Just like Dora.”

Now, Dora has this cousin. Diego. He lives in South America. He has a back pack too. Actually, a Rescue Pack. Just the name automatically makes it cool.

Just like a guy, he only carries what he needs. And that magical transforming one-strapped awesomeness is only ever what he needs. You need a bike? No? Ok. Motor scooter? No? Ok. Jet ski? Yes? Got it!

Backpack, 99% dead weight.

Rescue pack, 100% the right thing at the right time.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Holiday Shows

Have you watched any of these “new” Christmas holiday specials? I mean, when I was a kid it was the same freakin’ claymation Frosty followed by claymation Rudolph followed by Charlie Brown every year, year after year. By the time it got boring, I grew out of it.

And whatever happened to The Wizard of Oz? Didn’t it come on every year for Thanksgiving? Maybe I missed it… TBS?
In either case… this year I had the distinct pleasure of watching, with my kids, Olive the Other Reindeer.

Here’s what I got out of it. Please chime in if you think I’m way off base here.

1. WTF?
2. Drew Barrymore could not sing to save her career.

That’s it.

This show defied the laws of physics in that it both sucked and blew at the same time.

And I was later informed this show came on last year… I just missed it.