Saturday, May 11, 2013

GAAAAAHH!! Cockroach!


It all started with toast. Zoey wanted a toasted sandwich for lunch so I popped a couple pieces of bread in the toaster oven. As we were waiting patiently Zoey screamed and pointed.

“GAAAAAAH!! Cockroach!”[1]

And sitting there on top of the dish towel next to the toaster oven was this big ol’ ugly cockroach.

Big. Ol’. Ugly.

It was staring at us like, “Dude! I was totally dozing off under there and BOOM! on comes the sauna. A little warning next time?”

So I grabbed the frying pan sitting on the stove and went after it like Conan the Barbarian. I wanted to hit it hard, but we had just installed granite counter tops. I was a gentle barbarian. So it skittered across the stove where I really started scaring it. It slipped beneath one of the burners and under the drip pan.

Me: “Damn it.”

Roach: “Ha! Mother fu...”

Zoey: “Turn the burners on. All of them.”

Roach: “Oh crap.”

Well, I must have gotten a good hit in there somewhere because when I lifted the drip pan it was on it’s back wiggling it’s legs in what I imagine was roach sign language for “CALL 911! I’VE BEEN ATTACKED! THEY’RE ALL PSYCHOTIC!!! GAAAAAHHH!”

Both the girls were just fascinated with the roach’s death throes. A little shot of Raid and it was over. And there soon followed with a thorough and careful scrubbing of the counters. [2]

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