Please stop calling my phone. My home phone, that is. We don’t answer it. Ever.
This goes for all robots too. Robots for political action committees, charities, and debt collectors. Most of you aren’t even looking for us.
Especially you debt collectors. Wow. You called me looking for who? Erin Johnson? Are you even trying?
Listen, we keep our home phone for one reason, and one reason only.
Seriously. That’s it. It’s an extremely selective group of people we don’t know that we’d like to be able to find us. You don’t qualify.
I know, I know… you’re saying, “Why don’t you turn your phone off?”
Well, there is that rare occasion where I’ve invited someone to call me on my home phone. That’s right. I don’t want them to know my cell number, but knowing my house number is fine. Why? Because I expect that I won’t know that person for very long and seriously don’t want to be accidentally texted at 3 am with “Yo bro? Wer u @?”
I really don’t care about the latest credit card service or deal you have to offer. It will not be good. At all. I don’t care who’s running for city council or why. I don’t live in the city limits anyway. You clothing drive people call twice a day. FOR YEARS and you have yet to get an answer.
My name is not Erin Johnson. My wife is not a 56 year-old woman from New Jersey. Funny how I was able to find her.
So, in closing, stop calling me.