Saturday, December 18, 2010

Cat Antlers - Best Invention Ever

One year, before kids, my wife bought cat antlers for the cats. We put them on and as you can guess, the critters were less than impressed. They ran and hid. They looked a bit forlorn.

This year, somebody found them while digging around in a closet or something. We’ve got just the one cat now and she’s about 7 months old. Mom put the antlers on.

Now I’m sure many of you have witnessed a cat less than thrilled about having something foreign physically attached to it. I used to have fun sticking a piece of scotch tape to their backs.

This cat went berserk. Imagine a frying pan full of hot oil. Now dump some water in it.

It managed to pull the antlers down around it’s neck and then proceeded to bolt back and forth through the house while leaping five feet in the air. And the noise!

Let me quote.

“HIIIIIISSSSS! SCRRRRROOOOOWWWWW! HIIIIIISSSSSSS! ROOOOOOOOWWWWWW!”

Finally she managed to get her front legs through the antlers. She could not run fast enough to get completely through them.

I thought this a grand show and followed her with a beer.

When the critter finally expended enough energy to collapse in a gasping grey heap, Mom sat on her and managed to extract the antlers without a scratch. Experience counts for something.

The kids stood eyes wide like someone who’d just witnessed a drive-by shooting.

*sigh*

Reality shows ain’t got nothin’ on reality.

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