Also could be titled: How Unlimited Texting Can Save Your Marriage.
Stephanie: Can u take the girls and get the van washed, coupon expires today should be on dry erase board
Me: ok
Me: Damn, it's hot out here.
Me: Bubbles carwarsh is closed.
Me: There's a new PetCo over here.
Stephanie: Yes meant to tell u that
Notice how "Me" uses punctuation? Yeah... just pointing that out.
Me: So I drove to Katy. This one is not an Express. Even though it said it was one on google maps.
Stephanie: What? When did that happen?
Me: Well, that only took an hour and 30 miles. Still have coupon and a dirty car.
Stephanie: Lol u didn't have to go to katy we could just let it expire honey
Editor's note: Right. Yeah. Just let it expire... Right.
Me: Right.
Me: Z is signed up for soccer. Took almost as long as it did to not find an open Bubbles Carwash Express.
Stephanie: Lol good where?
It only now ocurs to me that she might have assumed I was talking about the carwash.
Me: FFPs games will be at Westside High.
Me: Eta?
It's 5:22 pm just wanna know when she's coming home. No answer. And this is what happens when I get ignored.
Me: Sara's already drunk screaming "Woo hoo! Three day weekend!" She's topless too. Zoey is doing lines on a Hello Kitty mirror. She's being safe though! No razor blade. Using a toothbrush.
Me: Dinner is animal cookies and clif bars.
Stephanie: Sweet, literally
Me: Oh. My. Glob! Strippers just showed up! Kinky. Dressed like cops.
Me: Not strippers.
Me: I started to suspect when I tried slipping a $20 into her bra. Thought it weird she was wearing a kevlar vest.
Me: Help! I'm hiding in the neighbors bushes. Shhh! Call 911! I'm being stalked by two gun toting lesbians wearing all blue. They got batman belts too!
Stephanie: Did u drink all my vodka again
Me: Z is so sweet! She just ran outside and yelled, "He went that way!" Pointing in the opposite direction of where I am.
Me: Sara just tackled and throat punched the bitch that stole my $20!
Me: I need a disguise.
Stephanie: Just emailed you one
 |
| Perfect |
Me: Yes! Hurry too! I'll be the inconspicuous naked guy behind Walmart. Ignore all these conspicuous bastards.
Me: Z & S have each respectfully submitted a request for vampire teeth. Jut putting that out there.
Me: I'm sure CPS will allow them.
Me: Sweet! Pretty blue helicopters!
Stephanie: U r nuts
Me: They can't see me if I don't move. Saw that in a documentary.
Stephanie: Send the slaves out please.
And that last one meant she was home.
See? Perfectly sane interaction between married people. Married to each other, that is. I talk to married people all the time and let's face it, those conversations are boring.
Sounds to me like you have your own little language going on over there. Sounds like you are having fun!
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