Saturday, August 18, 2012

I Got Plans

Is blogging starting to wear thin?

I wonder.

I suddenly realized that I hadn't submitted in a while. And then I realized that my blog roll is starting to indicate a few of the blogs I read hadn't been updated in months.

One of my favorites is submitting reruns. From 2008!

Right now I'm sitting in just my shorts wondering what the long term effects of heat exhaustion coupled with vodka might be. Both my girls are bouncing around the house pretending they are the Teen Titans wearing just pajama bottoms. As the three of us are topless I asked my wife if she was starting to feel a bit over dressed.

She said, "Ha."

I'll take that as a "no".

Today I removed the row of bushes on the west side of our front walk.

I call it "The Tim Burton"

I was going to add some bush trimming jokes, but there are just too many. Personally I prefer the nude look, but it does take a while to accomplish. Especially when you have to yank every single one out by the stump.

The heat index today only hit 110ºF. That's 43.3ºC for those that might think 110 is how many kilograms I weigh. I don't. I'm a slim trim 93.

So anyway. Me, a Black & Decker hedge trimmer, a limb trimmer, a shovel, and a small blue hatchet attacked the west bushes. After destroying the first one I started getting a headache and chills. From experience these are first signs of heat exhaustion so I quit. I chugged a Gatorade. I took a shower. I ate lunch. I took some Tylenol. I took a nap.

All in all, not so bad.

Then I put on some dry clothes (nobody sweats like a fat guy in Texas) and finished the job. Tomorrow I hit the East side. Which may be a bit more challenging because I'm only allowed clear liquids tomorrow. Got a colonoscopy on Monday. FUN! I like being sedated. Time just... oooooooooozes..... And then I wake up starving.

Not unlike weekends in college.

Oddly enough, cola and coffee are considered clear liquids. I'm gonna be a hyper hungry asshole tomorrow.

It's nice to have plans.

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