Zombie Turduckens 2!

That's right folks. THEY'RE BACK! If you didn't catch part one... go here.

This time the "Madden Special" comes in a somewhat different form. You see, John escaped the fiasco in California and shambled his rotting carcass all the way to Miami.

Ohio. He relocated to Miami, Ohio. In all seriousness his goal was Florida, given how it seems to be the final resting place for an awful lot of formerly living people, but he took a wrong turn.

No, not in Albuquerque. It's impossible to take a wrong turn in Albuquerque. Have you ever been there? There's like two highways. One goes left and right, the other up and down. He was going right. No, he took a wrong turn in Dallas. His already muddled and now deceased brain got confused by the fact that there are two Interstate 35's in Texas. And then there's the whole IH 20, 30, 40... by the time he stopped spinning he was already through Kentucky and decided that he was done traveling.^[1]

I Got Plans And Zoey Is Still Freaking Out About Germs

Blog Enhanced!

I've discovered that I got a lot of things I want to write about. I've started several posts that need work, pictures, and completed "enhancements".

That's what I'm calling those footnote thingies you see that are not clickable. If you hold your mouse over the blue footnote thingy, you get a hover note! That's right. Bonus brain goo that just oooooozes out of the normal post.

If you are reading my blog on a phone or tablet, they don't work. Sorry, but no mouse, no enhanced goo.

In other news: Zoey is still freaking out about germs. Booger and poo germs are a thing and she's a very careful observer.

Eww. Gross.

This story is going to take a minute. Think of it as a literary version of "found footage".^[1]

It all began at the park Monday. ^[2] We go to the park for park-day every Monday at around noon. The whole homeschool group shows up and and a couple dozen kids all play while the grown-ups (a bunch of ladies and me^[3] have grown-up conversations. You know, mostly how lessons are going, the condition of public schools today, and lactation. (That last one was really more them than me...)

Zoey, the nine-year-old, comes to me with extremely wet and soapy hands.

Z: "I need a paper towel."

Me: "You need to wash your hands."

Z: "I did."

Me: "Well, you apparently aren't done yet. Go rinse those hands off and I'll give you a towel."

Week End

And another weekend has suddenly, abruptly, and mysteriously disappeared. I have no idea what happened. It was Beer:30 Friday and then BOOM! it's Sunday night.

Why is this not a QWERTY keyboard?

So I tried signing up for Hulu Plus Friday night. Why? Because Netflix doesn't have Duck Dynasty. So I found that Hulu Plus had it on their list. Awesome, right?

I signed up online. Then I downloaded it for the Wii because TV is always better ON TELEVISION. I'm weird that way I guess.

After 20 minutes of signing up, logging on, downloading, installing, logging in again, we finally are ready! And we get the error message, "HAHAHAHAH! SUCKER! We're so sorry, but the show you spent 20 minutes trying to watch, we're not going to let you because that's one of the shows you can only watch online. Who the hell watches TV on television? You are SO not in our demographic. Losers."

Everyday I'm shovelin'

And then we ended up watching the ONE EPISODE out of four they had available on my laptop. Then I killed our account. Call me a loser will you...

And check out this little lady over here. A few years ago^[1] I wrote a piece that was all about Sara being a big girl. At the time she was three years old and wanted nothing more than to help me turn the compost. Saturday she was finally big enough to actually use the shovel! Woo hoo! She lost interest pretty quickly.

Sara: "This is kinda boring."

Me: "Yup"

Back To Blogging

So, I've decided to start blogging again. Well, ten days ago anyway. I don't know why. I'm not entirely sure why I stopped. I'm not entirely sure why I'm writing about it right now.

I just am.

In some ways I use this medium as a simple means by which to just air out the crazy in my head. Not that what I write is crazy, I call it crazy because that's what happens to me when I don't let it out. Like today. I just kinda feel like I need to spell it out on paper.

Or electrons. Whatever.

So yes. I'm back to blogging for however long I feel like it.

I joked with another blogger that had suddenly decided to hang up her hat. She had what I had thought was a successful blog and I did enjoy reading her posts. She made an announcement that she was leaving her blog behind to spend more time with her family. It almost sounded like an unpopular politician quitting before being voted out of office. I told her that I didn't quit so much as just stopped showing up.

I'm pretty sure that how most blogs die.^[1]

I have in my mind a vision of lost blogs, abandoned blogs, lost and alone. And unlike polydactyl cats^[2][3], there's no one to pick them up and see that they are cared for. But they don't really die either. They just hang out there, collecting random spam comments.^[4]

So I'm back to blogging for a while. Read or don't. Leave a comment, or don't. I've mentioned it before when I blogged about blogging, I'm really doing this just for me.

I'm going to go watch Duck Dynasty now.

Cupcake Love

Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, I do hereby announce my candidacy for DAD OF THE EVER!

Dad. Of. The. Eh.Ver.

As in, I did this because I'm... well... awesome. If I had to choose a word it would have to be "awesome".

"Why?" you ask. Because this, right here.

Awesome doesn't quite capture it.

 I had, over the day, developed the best headache ever. As It was a perfectly nice day, of which I am extremely allergic to, I, of course, collapsed into a gel of goo.

I do so love my goo. Eww.

Zoey, my ever so loving and nap interrupting 9-year old, decided that in an effort to cheer me up and make me feel better she'd make me a cupcake with her Girl Gourmet cake thing-a-ma-jig ^(TM).

The Red Velvet expired in March. 2011. While it was cooking our house smelled like decade old Wheat Thins found in the back of the back of the warehouse where old army surplus clothing was stored until "New Management" took over.

OH HOLY CRAPSNACKS YA'LL!! ZOMBIES AND TURDUCKENS ARE ON TV!!

I started writing a part two to my Zombie Turducken story the other night. Today I was going to work on it some more and instead thought to actually Google zombie turduckens. I found my old post, plenty of turducken pictures and this!^[1]

When I seeTurducken Slammer, I
think Turducken Correctional Facility.

 I so want credit for this. There's this show that comes on CW called Supernatural. Apparently it's pretty popular. It's been on for eight seasons now!

This episode originally aired a whole month after I wrote my story. So they can't claim it was me copying them! Granted, their story has more to do with zombies and turducken sandwiches than zombie turduckens. In either case, I'm going to just assume my story gave the seed kernel and they ran with it.

Dear CW,

You're welcome.

Sincerely,

Me.



I got on Netflix and watched this episode. Here's a recap with pictures!