Zombie Turduckens 2!

That's right folks. THEY'RE BACK! If you didn't catch part one... go here.

This time the "Madden Special" comes in a somewhat different form. You see, John escaped the fiasco in California and shambled his rotting carcass all the way to Miami.

Ohio. He relocated to Miami, Ohio. In all seriousness his goal was Florida, given how it seems to be the final resting place for an awful lot of formerly living people, but he took a wrong turn.

No, not in Albuquerque. It's impossible to take a wrong turn in Albuquerque. Have you ever been there? There's like two highways. One goes left and right, the other up and down. He was going right. No, he took a wrong turn in Dallas. His already muddled and now deceased brain got confused by the fact that there are two Interstate 35's in Texas. And then there's the whole IH 20, 30, 40... by the time he stopped spinning he was already through Kentucky and decided that he was done traveling.^[1]

OH HOLY CRAPSNACKS YA'LL!! ZOMBIES AND TURDUCKENS ARE ON TV!!

I started writing a part two to my Zombie Turducken story the other night. Today I was going to work on it some more and instead thought to actually Google zombie turduckens. I found my old post, plenty of turducken pictures and this!^[1]

When I seeTurducken Slammer, I
think Turducken Correctional Facility.

 I so want credit for this. There's this show that comes on CW called Supernatural. Apparently it's pretty popular. It's been on for eight seasons now!

This episode originally aired a whole month after I wrote my story. So they can't claim it was me copying them! Granted, their story has more to do with zombies and turducken sandwiches than zombie turduckens. In either case, I'm going to just assume my story gave the seed kernel and they ran with it.

Dear CW,

You're welcome.

Sincerely,

Me.



I got on Netflix and watched this episode. Here's a recap with pictures!

Zombie Turduckens

You asked for it.

While it is true that my zombie apocalypse team post did not make number one (as predicted), it is entirely due to some freak of google. From some strange reason my Don’t Worry Be Happy post shot to number one without any effort whatsoever. People are googling the hell outta it. 

Again, I don’t know why.

I consider it a fluke of google, and therefore the ZOMBIE TURDUCKENS ARE LOOSE.

Imagine a sleepy southern California town with ten houses and a shopping mall. It’s Thanksgiving. The Cowboys are playing (this term is used loosely) against… who cares?

John Madden chose this town to retire in. He died.

But the body lived on! To open a small deli stand specializing in baked bird within a bird within a bird treats. And six legs. Can’t forget the six legs. Kinda like a giant roach. All brown and crunchy.

I’d bore you with the details… but since zombification of cooked meat is not an exact science it can’t be boring! John Madden’s body made hundreds of turduckens. And then he took one bite out of each one.

Thunder!

Lightning!

And hundreds of turduckens began wobbling north headed straight for…. Wait for it….

I said WAIT!

CANADA.

But this being America and turduckens are only ever made on Thanksgiving (not so much for the holiday as for consolation after watching the Cowboys lose) the army of crispy deliciousness couldn’t make it as far as Bakersfield before being chased down by Detroit Lions fans and consumed. They even ate the giblets.

Ewwwwwwwwww. Gross.

This is especially disconcerting because there were only eight of them.

You. Asked. For. It.

 

 

I believe he is eating Pat Summerall's pickled brain.