Hello Kitty is EVERYWHERE

A stripped AR-15... and yes, it's real.

She is! 

Check it out.

What little angel wouldn't want one?

Guess which parade he's been to.

She’s on a Ferrari! She’s on wedding dresses, car exhaust pipes, chainsaws and Darth Vader. She’s even on vibrators. (Sorry ladies, I’ve heard you like to use clever euphemisms for these things. Like “plastic boy-friend”, “personal massager”, and “glass of wine”.)

Told ya.

She’s missing in at least one area.

Helicopters.

I’ve checked.

Today on the way home from changing a tire in a random shopping center in Sugar Land, TX the girls were talking about Hello Kitty. They yammered on and on about Hello Kitty. They pretended she was running alongside us. They pretended she was riding on the roof and could hear her walking around.

Zoey: “Daddy? Do you like Hello Kitty?”

Me: “Sure.”

Zoey: “What kind of Hello Kitty do you like?”

Me: “Hello Kitty Helicopter!”

Zoey: “Really? Why?”

Me: “Helicopters are cool! Haven’t you ever seen Airwolf?”

Zoey: “Airplanes are better.”

Me: “Oh really. Why is that?”

Zoey: “Airplanes have bathrooms.”

Me: “I can’t argue with that.”

She wins this round.

And Just Where Have I Been?

It's not like I've been ignoring you. I just haven't felt like blogging.

The fact that I broke my computer really didn't help either.

Sad face is sad.

In either case here I am back at the keyboard.

Today there really isn't much on my mind. Except Santa Claus.

He is such a whore.

Seriously. Have you seen him around? The man sells everything. I see him outside the Citgo everyday now twirling a sign for whatever the hell he sells there.

He's on TV selling Mercedes. And Chevy trucks. And jewelry. And toys and beer and signature blend coffees. He's on the streets selling massages, payday advances, furniture and puppies.

He's been selling Coca-Cola for what? 70+ years now?

Who me? Judge? I saw you selling puppies.

And it all started before Halloween. I started getting mad when retailers thought they needed to start selling Christmas before Thanksgiving. Who wants to hear Dolly Parton crow on mercilessly about a hard candy Christmas while picking up endless supplies for their Thanksgiving dinner?

And now, while yer out shopping for a giant bag of Tootsie rolls, you can purchase fake snow, garden gnome elves, and prancing reindeer frozen in their frolicked state. They are across the aisle from zombie babies, giant wiggly spiders, and other random gimmicky crap.

It still surprises me when somebody says they don't understand how people get so depressed during the holidays.

I'm sure the docs prescribing Zoloft know.

It was this or zombie babies.